Lilly Pond at HerstmonceuxYesterday Roland left a comment saying “We never really know where we are going, do we!” And today I have been starkly reminded of that. My experience could hardly be more different than it was yesterday. I am a bit in shock I think.

I can hardly bear to write about it, so surreal it seems.

Last night someone was shot and murdered about 30 feet from my bedroom window. Today the road is cordoned off and police are crawling around on their hands and knees. I can’t quite take it in.

I have been  busy a lot of the day and away from the house but every time I come back I find myself thinking about it and about what might have been. What if my son had been walking home at that time as he often is on a Saturday? What if the bullets had come this way?

Yesterday I wrote “and my mind spins off to the miracle of being alive right now” and I can’t help but think of the man who is no longer here to experience the miracle and of his family whose lives have been irrevocably changed¬†in an instant.

I’m not sure I should be writing this post. Is it inappropriate? Is it something I should keep to myself and not “burden” others with? I just don’t know but, today this is the reality of where I am.

There is no pithy conclusion to end with.

Life is fragile and I am so very grateful for this day.


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